natedasnake

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 12:26:38 GMT

Well I don't know where to start. Found some stuff out, now long story short a few people probably hate me for being steadfast, and someone said some really hurtful stuff.

I guess that's what happens sometimes. For the most part I'm able to brush off the hurtful stuff because they were just pissed, but it still really irks me. I guess that's what they wanted after all--when parting, unfortunately, sometimes it's deemed necessary to prove that you're better than the other person.

I dunno. I need to continue studying. Pulling an all-nighter.

Yeah, fun...

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 00:10:00 GMT

Do you think you live a moral life?

There should be no denial that people as a whole are intrinsically selfish. It really is a dog-eat-dog world out there, and you really do have to fight to survive. People in general aren't very naturally receptive to the "do unto others" rule. A very long time ago, I had a bunch of "well why can't they look at it from my perspective" moments, then came to the realization that in order to expect people to look at my perspective I should probably be willing to look at theirs. Perspective plays a huge part in life--if things are always other people's fault, chances are you should probably open your eyes and start walking in other's shoes. If you can't do that--if you can't put aside your own concerns for just an instant and take on someone else's, you're helpless. Stop reading right now, go get a jamba juice, put on some ridiculous-looking yet "chic" sunglasses, go out shopping, get shitfaced to let go of all your problems, hook up with someone, rinse and repeat.

Personally, in general I try to let go of my selfishness. A true friend is one who doesn't always put themselves before you. Someone who has the ability to let go of their immediate desires to fulfill a promise. Someone who you can trust, who you feel comfortable around. Someone who's not always selfish--the saying "bros before hoes" comes to mind, although it goes for both genders. This is also, rather ironically, the type of person you want as a significant other--someone who's loyal.

Someone who won't keep "looking for something better," and someone who cares about you enough that you can trust them with your love. Unfortunately, the vast majority of the population is not that way. People lack a conscience. People don't think and instead follow their sexual organs.

Eh.

What can you do? Here's exactly what you can do: Develop a conscience. Use it. It will keep you out of trouble and make you a better person. Get on with your life, make judgements as you see fit, and hope you eventually find someone else with a conscience. You'll never know for absolute sure whether someone is trustworthy or not (although if you're attentive, you should usually be able to tell), so live your life, cherish your "true" friends, learn from your mistakes and don't be afraid to take chances or leaps of faith.

Unless you're on LSD. In that case, try to stay away from the leaps of faith.

Thu, 09 Nov 2006 21:08:13 GMT

So, for the longest time in my life I was afraid--not petrified, but afraid--of what others thought of me and what they WOULD think of me. I recently came upon a realization:

Fuck them.
Fuck them up their stupid asses.

Since then, I have been happy and getting on with my life.

hmm..

Fri, 03 Nov 2006 23:25:18 GMT

I think people need to realize that people who care about shit also need people to care about them. If someone's understanding for you, you had better be the same for them.

In the same sense (but, of course, completely unrelated), it's funny (if a bit unfavorable) how much men in our society are supposed to suck it up and be a human wall of mental and emotional strength in order to be attractive, yet vulnerable in order to be amiable. I guess the perfect guy in most girl's minds must be a hard, easily (but not too easily) pierced shell and a soft, malleable center. You know, the guy who attracts them by broing it up with the bros, and then admits that he's NOT A BRO AT HEART, he's a sensitive, caring man and really was just dying to be her one and only teddy bear from the moment he saw her. Oh, they love the soft, malleable centers. Don't get me wrong, I far from hate the female race--I love girls. I want a girl--I want someone who finds me simultaneously attractive yet endearing. I want someone who I can make happy. That's important to me. But what's also important is that there's a sense of balance in the relationship. I don't expect 'em to mirror exactly what I do (god knows how hard it would be for anyone to mirror my ridiculous niceness AND my humility) but just something to show me that I'm more to 'em than what I do for them.

And it would be pretty embarrassing if any of 'em read this. I guess it could help with the endearing part... but I think I'm already cute and cuddly enough, don't you?

Hey, girls.... NATHAN'S ATTRACTIVE. PASS IT ON.

Sun, 09 Jul 2006 10:20:34 GMT

Hah... I already miss her. =(

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 03:28:18 GMT

So. Here I am. Alone. In Palo Alto, without a friend in sight.
Someone was supposed to call me yesterday, but instead decided to go out and see fireworks, say they'll call me today, turn off and/or ignore their phone and promptly "forget" to do so.
I wasn't able to sleep last night, my mind, heart, and adrenaline were all racing until I finally managed to tire myself enough at 430 or so. I was in no shape to work today, so I called in sick. I took my mom to the airport awhile ago and I'm currently sitting here, with no friends around, and not even some family to keep me company.

I am SUCH a wreck right now. I literally feel like dying... I feel so powerless..

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 00:17:43 GMT

I never thought this day would come... I still dunno if it has.

Wed, 24 May 2006 18:02:11 GMT

Auto response from emikittie343: class 10 - 11

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Sun, 14 May 2006 11:57:50 GMT

We were one in words
You finished my sentence
I could never attract tomorrow
It pushes me aside

I sink in waters deep
Your presence kept me floating far from depths where secrets lie
Maybe in another lifetime I can be the first you meet

I once read a poem
Held my breath but that moment's gone
First time I felt life somewhat hurt
I need an option, a reason, and some hope

Yell at me I want to be, your light that shines
But my ground is shaking and I might fall
I wish that I could say, I wish that I could be your evil in a closet

-In Flames (Evil in a Closet)